Hospital

A good friend of mine's eleven year old brother has been in the hospital for the past week so I decided to go visit him yesterday. I was not prepared for what I saw and experienced there. My heart broke immediately when we arrived. It was weird because I see sick kids and people everyday when i am in Kibera but this day, I wanted to weep when I saw the physical state of the children and adults alike. My friend Abby took me on a tour of the hospital. We walked down the children's ward where she said that up to three people will sleep in a bed at a time. She told me how people will arrive at the front of the hospital at 6am and wait in line hoping to get a place where they can get treated...often times they are turned away. My tour continued as we walked down the HIV/AIDS ward, one side for women, one side for men. Some of the patience were literally skin and bones...I have never seen anything like it...I smiled at them as they watched the only white person in the hospital walk by...I felt so small because I felt like they felt like they were on display...I wanted to run inside and hug them all...or fall on my knees and cry. There have been many times that I have wished I was anything but white because of how i have been treated, but I have never wanted to blend in more than i did that day! Throughout the visit, my friend would say, "Mikey (her brother) will be so happy that a Mzungu (white person) has come to visit him." I know she was half-way joking but it gets really old when you can't just be looked at for who you are. Even though you are put on an invisible pedestal, you really feel so small because your value seems to lay in the color of your skin...It is something that I battle with at times but i know that I can't live feeling like that because then you would always have a guard up and not let yourself be loved or love others.

Though yesterday was a tough day I was also blessed beyond reason as I watched my friends' family come together and fight for one another. It was amzing to see every generation there at the hospital caring for eachother as they all cared for Mikey. Abby's sister, Ann, had been staying with Mikey the whole week, sleeping in the same bed as him and staying awake all night doing whatever he needed in order to be comfortable and keeping his fever down. Abby said that even the nurses do not care! She said that when they arrived they just put Mikey on a bed with no blankets or anything. The family asked the nurses for a blanket and the nurses said it was not their concern! That broke my heart. It was beautiful seeing everyone gather around and praying for Mikey. It was sad though because there was this Mama and her sick one year old boy in the bed next to Mikey who had been there for 2 months and no had ever come to visit them! Abby and our friend Hyda talked about taking time to come and visit these people who do not have anyone. They want to bring them mangos and spend time just being with them. That impressed me so much and I really want to do it with them!

We are so thankful that Mikey is doing so much better! Hopefully he will be home soon. This entry may seem disjointed and for that i apologize but i wanted to be transparent about what has been going on in my heart lately!

And, just for fun, I wanted to include some pictures of my friends and I at this wedding we were able to attend last weekend. They are all short-term missionaries that are serving all over Kenya.

Conference

Thank you all for the possitive responses concerning the pictures. I am so glad that you are able to see some now!

I just returned from a five day Missionary Conference at Rift Valley Academy in the Rift Valley. It was a fabulous time! Every year AIM has a spiritual enrichment conference for missionaries all over Kenya. It is amazing meeting new people and catching up with old friends. it is also very encouraging getting to hear everyone's heart for Africa and seeing how God has gifted everyone differently to serve in a wide variety of ways, for His glory!

The speaker was an American guy who had done missions in Africa almost ten years ago for I think ten + years. He was also a pastor in Alabama for a number of years. He was beautifully transparent as he shared about all the mistakes he made on the mission field as well as full-time mininstry. He talked about how he was always doing things for his own reputation and never really truly had a surrendered heart to the Lord, seeking His guidance and power in the ministry. He shared how he would beat people over the head with the Law, thinking he was ultra spiritual and being puffed up with arrogance because he was "spiritual" and others weren't. The destruction that this mentality lead to was tragic to his marraige, parenting, ministry, and personal walk with the Lord.

The Lord did a major work on his life as He opened the eyes of his heart and broke down the walls that he had so strategically placed around his heart. The major theme of the weekend was about the idea of Sonship. He expressed that the same Gospel that saved us is the same one that sanctifies us. Often times we forget the Gospel and begin to do things on our own strength and for our own selfish reasons. We have been saved by grace and are adopted as sons and daughters of the Creator of the universe. It is with this concept that we must frame our lives! Everything we do is by God's grace and for His glory. I wish I could accurately express in more detail what he had talked about but I am still processing through much of it myself!

It was a refreshing week. The desire of the coordinating commitee was that we would feel refreshed not only in our spirit's but also our bodies. They had min-massages set up that you could sign up for and they had someone doing manicures and pedicures. We had a lot of free time which was pivitol for some much needed time of quietness before the Lord and for being involved in a variety of sports and visiting with people.

I am so thankful for this week! So, tomorrow is back to work. I am looking forward to seeing everyone again because it feels like I have been gone for much longer than a week.

I hope all is well with you all! Miss you!

Promised Pictures!

Just wanted to let you all know that my dear friend Elf has taken it upon herself to set up her own blog by which she is taking advantage of the fast internet in Australia and posting a ton of pictures of our time in Kenya! I am so thankful that she so brilliantly thought of this. So, for those of you interested in seeing pics, just visit her blog. She said she will do her best to fill y'all in on some of the things we have done here. It is: sister-elf.blogspot.com Let me know if i have somehow given the wrong address...

Love you all!

Badai (later)